If you’re like me, you have had feelings arise at times that were challenging. Feelings that asked you commit to an action and follow through, no matter the chaos that might be introduced to the lives around you.
When I was in my twenties, my sister shared with me that she was getting married. To say that I acted poorly that night would be an understatement. But I know that I was honest. And over the long run, that has served her and I in becoming closer.
When she told me that, I was forced to sit with whether I was living my own life or that of another…
Shortly thereafter, i quit my job working for a liquor company and I set out to travel. I told everyone that I would return in three years. I have yet to move back.
Big changes can happen really fast. It takes as long as you decide it need to.
I’ve spent decades asking other people what they think I should do. It’s been something that I’ve struggled with the most in my life. This need to please and to be appreciated. I’ve smoked it to the filter. The seasons have changed.
Some changes take a moment to manifest. The most important yoga class I will teach this year will be at my cousin Kieron’s wedding. In 2005 she came home with a brochure for a yoga teacher training that began in four days. It was one of the most comprehensive 200 hr YTT’s that I’ve yet to encounter and it changed my life.
In those four days I wholesaled my life, tearing down my job, my lack of direction and my understanding of the known. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I don’t lament the time that I asked everyone else what they thought I should be doing. I often reflect on needing to explore the periphery in order to understand the center. It was good for me and part of the process to reach now.
It was reasonably put to me that before me I have two right choices.
I can trust this knowing in my gut that makes little logical and linear sense and go about this process of working with chaos, feeling into my heart and moving with compassion and confidence sans guilt. The work is to increase my personal connection to spirit. And that is the work of trusting that I know.
Or I can play it safe and interact with my life in a way that is safe.
I’m wearing a gift from a dear friend. I look around and the things that I am carrying are things that I care for and that have cared for me. I know that there are things that bind me to the past and I could be done with them now. I encourage you to join me in assessing a few items that have served you in getting this far but their time to go has come. Losing a few things will create all sorts of room for that which is to come. So purge a thing or two and allow things to be as you know them to be.
Know, and know that you know.